Thursday, June 11, 2015
It's me, Darcy. Remember? I know, it's been a LONG time. My sincerest apologies but I was so busy earning my Masters in creative writing that I had no time to be creative elsewhere. But guess what, I'm done.
And left with a fancy degree and this:
Post Graduate School Depression.
Is this a thing?
I imagine my fellow graduates would agree it exists. I know it existed for me.
As soon as we're handed that diploma, we're flooded with questions we might not yet have answers for.
"What next?" and "What are your plans?" and "When are you going to finish that novel?"
I actually do have answers. But whether they're the correct answers remain to be seen.
Ah, the great unknown. Such a place of comfort. NOT.
See, it's like this. I WANT to finish my novel. Like, next week. I INTEND to get a job teaching in the fall. I PLAN on becoming a best selling author, and I plan on seeing all of my friends become best selling authors too. (I'm not selfish, c'mon.)
But reality doesn't always work that way and I'm not naive enough to think it does. I'm a realist but also an optimist so there is a huge part of me that genuinely believes all of these things will come to fruition, but it might take some time. That being written, I recognize I need to be the one to put the proverbial ball in motion. What kind of ball is that anyway? A basketball, a golfball, a tennis ball, a bearing. Anyone know?
So, in the mean time, I decided to start this day the way I started many days in my early blogging career. I drove my kids to school and headed to my local Corner Bakery to sip coffee and write. I ate breakfast too, but that's beside the point. I do love their Farmers Scramble...but I digress.
One of the things I am known for (I think), is wearing my emotions on my sleeve. I even cried after I defended my thesis, which was odd considering I passed. My professors hadn't seen that before, but I like to keep them on their toes. And hey, I am "the girl who cries" so I didn't want to disappoint. Had to leave a solid impression, it's great for letters of recommendation.
This morning is no different than any other in the sense that I got teary eyed three minutes before I dropped my son off for his last day of 10th grade. He's just finished reading "Night" by Elie Wiesel. We started talking about it and I realized that it moves me just as much today as it did 20 years ago when I first read it.
The thing is, emotions are good. Crying is good. It softens you, it allows you to feel compassion and understanding, plus it gives you the chance to purge negativity and let light in.
In this time where the world feels so divided, where anger and intolerance flood our social media, I cry out to those who are so filled with hate and ask this BIG question of you: Why?
Have we learned nothing from our past?
Children know love, unconditionally. They see no color, no gender, no hate. They LEARN these constructs. They are taught to think and act within the structure of their families and then, within their societies. So if society continues to dictate social structures that condone sexism, ageism, racism, bigotry, intolerance and hate, why don't we take a stand against these prejudices and speak out. Let it be known that we need change. That YOU believe in a world where peace, compassion, understanding and knowledge are the foundation from which you operate.
Instead of spreading the latest graphic MEME from any of our biased media affiliates, why not start thinking about the ways in which YOU have been affected and how you can change the world in a positive way? Why not purge the pain out and let light in?
My niece and I had a powerful conversation yesterday, and folks, she's 12. We talked about the CHOICE to be happy. We can move through this life blaming others and letting anger eat away at our hearts or we can decide not to live like that. I'm not saying it's easy. What I'm saying is that it starts with the tiniest gesture, a random act of kindness even. It's like a light switch, maybe on a dimmer. You ease it up bit by bit until the light fills the room, or in this case, your heart.
Can you imagine a world where everyone strived toward finding their inner light?
I can tell you this much, this girl is trying to push that dimmer switch all the way to the top, let all the light in and get out of this post graduate school depression! It ain't easy, but as I sit here typing away, I feel a bit more accomplished than I did yesterday, and the light is getting brighter by the minute.
So again, to answer some of the pending questions:
Next, I'm going to go home and post this blog. Today, it's my attempt to inspire and fill someone's heart with compassion and someone's mind with new ideas.
And, It's time to update my Curriculum Vitae (which in the academic world, is a fancy word for resume). I do need to get a job, after all.
And, finally, I need to work on my novel. It's not going to finish itself, right? You can't be a best selling author without a book, dammit.
Until next time.
Remember, in the immortal words of Gandhi,