Will writing ever be fun again?

It's sad and pathetic that I've been unable to write since January.

Well, that's not true.  In fact, I've written A LOT since then, just nothing pertaining to my blog.

Woe is me...

I'm on Spring Break and I am not in Florida or Lake Havasu.  I am here, typing away.

Ok, not gonna lie, I am sneaking away next week but it sounds so much better if I act like I am really toughing it out...

So I'm taking just a few minutes to return to the place where I feel the most comfortable, the place where the love and support I need seems to find its way right to me through the responses from you-
my friends and family.

YOU are the audience that gets me.  YOU are the audience that wants more and yet what have I done?  I've gone and abandoned you in favor of pursuing my MFA.  Why? So I can be a better writer of course.  But then again, doesn't that also suppose that I should, in fact...be writing?

Well again, I have been, but not in the usual form.  I have been writing fun little essays known as "literary analyses" or what our Professor deems "reaction papers."  This is uncharted territory for me since most of my background has been writing in a journalistic fashion.  Here I thought when I started this endeavor I'd be writin' fiction.  Boy, was I ever wrong.

I have written some pretty decent little pieces and workshopped them in class.  Heck, one time I even lost my shit and started crying the very first night after reading my own work.  That was fun...making everyone uncomfortable, squirmy, letting my classmates wonder if I was going to end up in a shambles after every class. I like to keep them guessing.

I must say, I have been able to hold it together since that first night and have managed to read my work without shedding a single tear (so far, the semester isn't over yet).  And everyone seems to have forgotten the overt display of emotion that first fateful night.  Lucky me.

No, really what's been happening is that I have been reading some pretty amazing books and getting to meet the writers.  In as much as I hate writing these reaction papers, I have completely enjoyed the experience of seeing these people speak, understanding them just a little bit better and realizing that they  are real faces behind the words.

So I'm getting ready for my midterm now and I'm not gonna lie, it's daunting.  I am learning a lot so there is that...not only about writing but also about myself.

This process has been challenging, no doubt.  I am really figuring out what I am made of and I am pretty proud of myself for tackling this in the midst of my ordinary life-which is filled with an abundance of love and friendship, also with carpools and lessons and parties and homework.

I signed up for this, every single bit.  So dear friends, I will continue this journey and try to figure out ways to entertain you as I go along.  And if any of you are interested in reading what I have been working on other than the essays, let me know.  I can post something right here on my blog if I am so inclined.

Thanks again and again for your support as I would not be here without you!

And guess what?

To answer my own question...You have made writing fun again!

Happy Hump Day Folks!

Enjoy your Spring Break wherever it takes you and Happy Easter!

Greek Yogurt

Inspiration.

Where do you find it?

For me, I look around and take a minute to digest what I see.  For instance, right now-sitting in the booth next to me are a mother and son, he's about three.  He's resisting eating the Greek yogurt in front of him because Mom mixed it with the strawberries on the bottom.

"No, I don't want it mixed," he whines.

"But you said all morning, all you wanted was strawberries."

"Yes, but not mixed in with the yogurt."

After some debate, he finally gives in and begins to eat it, protesting a little here and there.  Hey, I can't blame the kid.  Unless Greek yogurt is mixed with cucumber and on top of a pita with chicken, I wouldn't want to eat it either.

So what this whole scene really reminds me of is how fast time moves.  It reminds me of when my own boy was three and now he's almost fourteen.  It reminds me that my daughter will be five next month.  It reminds me that even though my brain still thinks it's 25, it's really 40, and I don't move nearly as fast as I did. Listen, I'm not using a walker or a motorized Rascal, nothing that extreme, but I'm not gonna lie-being in bed by 9:30 is part of my usual routine.

And I like it.

But, sometimes we must step outside our comfort zones (which often include warm blankets and cozy jammies) and have a meal or outing after 8:00 p.m.   Take for instance, last night.  I met Rachel and Paula, two of my dear friends, for dinner then we headed to a bar, not to have a night cap but instead to watch Paula's son play with his band.


Yes, the time has come, now we are watching one of our children...

play in a band...

in a bar.


Shortly before they went on, and thanks to the power of Facebook, Jeremy and Kirk popped in to surprise us and it was like flashing back to 1992, sitting in a dive bar, watching a band and sharing laughs.  Except this time, we were all yawning at 10:45 and getting ready to head home instead of just getting started.  Oh how the times have changed.

With my ears ringing and my eyelids drooping, I gave my friends their goodbye hugs and kisses and headed home at 11:45.  Boy was I grateful the bar was in HB and my drive was only five minutes because I'm not sure I could have made it much later.  Pathetic?  Perhaps.  But still, I was so glad I went because even as the remnants of the blaring music continued to penetrate my eardrums, I was so happy I stepped outside of my usual routine to be in this moment with people I care deeply for and what I was left with was a feeling of connection.  A connection to these friends who have known me for longer than I can remember and with whom I share history, and I felt a sense of gratitude for having that connection because I know it's rare.

So being connected, being present-that really is what I am trying to be about in every aspect of my life.  Knowing that time is fleeting just gives me more reasons to embrace every experience and all of the relationships I have been blessed and lucky enough to share.

Since I've been writing, the little boy and his mom finished up and left.  I think they were heading to the park.  I wanted to tell her to enjoy this time, embrace moments like these because he'll be fourteen soon and then you will be sitting in a coffee shop, wondering where time went and reflecting on the days gone by, maybe shedding a tear or two in the process, maybe writing a blog, maybe going to graduate school...but I get the feeling she already knew that.

Inspiration comes in many forms and today I found mine sitting next to me, covered in Greek yogurt with strawberries.

Thanks kid, and next time try the French toast instead...

Oh and don't forget the strawberries.

Happy New Year...(Creative, huh?)

Forgive me for the delay in posting, It's been one helluva long semester (and it's finally over) and now I am wrapping up the year and getting ready to head into 2013.  I don't know about you but for me, it means a time to reflect on all of the beauty that 2012 brought to me, along with the heartbreak and sadness that is loss.

This year, personally we said goodbye to Chris's Dad and great Aunt.  As a nation, we mourned the loss of so many victims of senseless violence and most recently, the Newtown tragedy.  Like all of you, I was rattled to my core and simply could not and cannot wrap my head around the depth of this situation and the impact its had on our entire country.  I continue to pray for peace and comfort for the families and victims.  

It's a mixed bag of emotions and I am thankful that the joy far overshadows the sadness, and for that I am so grateful.

As a country, we saw the turmoil of a stormy and divided nation as we went through another election, one that was filled with heated debates and one that I am sure, many of us lost friends over or decided that some were never really friends in the first place.  In any case, I think we all dug deeply within ourselves to redefine boundaries about who is worth "agreeing to disagree with" and who is no longer worth the trouble, at least that was the case for me.

I finished my first semester of graduate school and there were plenty of highs and lows with that, in fact I had to remind myself constantly, it's just a class, not brain surgery for shits sake!  But, happily, I came out of it with two classes under my belt, a pretty impressive handle on French feminism and quite a few international authors (Yes), and (I think) I am a  better writer than I was before I started, so there's that.

We welcomed a new niece into our family and couldn't be happier for our brother and sister-in-law, this was a high point for all of us.  My Mom and her beloved Dave got engaged and we have a wedding on the horizon.  We also welcomed baby Hayley, who brings laughter and joy to the whole gang.

Although the year was filled with challenges, I persevered and came out of it with eternal optimism.  I have so much to be grateful for (my healthy beautiful kids, a great husband and a wonderful family) and more than anything, now is the time to focus on the future and all that has in store.  

So my friends, I hope that 2012 was a year to celebrate and I wish you all the very best in the year ahead.

With any luck, I will get a better handle on managing my blog AND my school work!

Hey, we all have areas that "need improvement" so cut me a little slack...

Cheers to you all and Happy New Year!

And with that, I am off to YOGA

School Daze

Well, my summer is officially over.  Not because my kids are back in school but on the contrary, because I am.

Today marks the day I find myself once again, sitting in a classroom.  But now, I am a grad student. It's not my first time at the rodeo, but this is definitely a new horse.   I am filled with excitement and nervous energy.  I really don't know what to expect and can you believe this, I haven't even figured out what to wear yet!

When I told Holly, one of my oldest and best friends, that I had already emailed my professor to ask if I should prepare for the first day by reading one of the 13 books assigned, her response was this "Let the ass kissing begin.  You know, all the other students are gonna hate you.  You will be that one in the front, raising your hand and making the rest of them look like idiots."  To which I replied "Holl, don't be ridiculous.  This is graduate school.  Most of these people are working professionals, not fresh college grads in pursuit of a creative writing MFA." 

Then I remembered when I picked up my parking permit and was asked casually by the security guard, if I would like the fee deducted out of my faculty payroll.  

Hmmmmmm

What if I am the oldest, anxiously waving my hand waiting to be called on?  What if I am the one geeking out in the front of the class, taking notes at break-neck speed?  What if-gasp-I am older than my professor?  Yikes, it's possible.  At 35 I was older than one of my teachers so I suspect that I may run into the same situation here.  I am fairly certain that one of them is considerably older than I, since he graduated from college in 1978. Unless, of course, he is the Doogie Howser of the literary world.  

And yes, I read his bio. Never hurts to be prepared.

So as I sit here typing away, I am wondering what this day holds for me.  I know that I will head off to yoga in an hour, to calm my frazzled nerves a smidge.  After lunch (if I can eat) I plan on leaving for school with plenty of time to find parking and get myself acclimated to the campus.  I missed "new kid" orientation but I figured once again, I might be mistaken for an R.A., a house mother or a member of the faculty  welcoming committee.  After the parking permit incident, I thought it best to sit that one out.

Wish me luck as I embark on this adventure.  One that is sure to be filled with surprises and reality checks.  

And I want to thank each one of you who have supported and inspired me to follow my dream of writing and returning to school to pursue that dream.  Most importantly, I want to thank my family and my husband Chris.  Honey, you are amazing and I am so grateful that I have your love and support.  You ROCK and you ARE my rock.

And as far as my blog goes, well perhaps it will take on a new shape.  One that is filled with my adventures as a wide eyed graduate student at the tender age of 40.  

I am not above brown-nosing to be the teacher's pet so as Holly would say...Let the arm waving and ass kissing begin.  

TGIF and and even more, TGFF-

Thank God for Fridays and Thank God for Friends.

 

I love Fridays.  And don't be mistaken, not the restaurant but the glorious day of the week that kicks off the weekend.  It's just one of those days that almost always feels perfect.

That being said, Fridays also seem to be the best days for me to write.  My head seems a bit more clear and my thoughts tend to flow freely, although sometimes I am overloaded with so many ideas that I have to sift through them to settle on one particular topic that really peaks my interest.

Today is one of those days where my thoughts are all over the place, bear with me.  There will be a point.  We might just discover it together.

Last weekend I was blessed to have the opportunity to get away with three of my very best friends.  We were off to celebrate another 40th birthday which is, of course,  worthy of celebration. Per my dear friend Jen's recommendation, we kicked off our weekend on Thursday with a lovely dinner in Santa Barbara at a quaint little restaurant off the beaten path called Jill's Place.  It's a locals only kind of place with a great atmosphere, and the food and drinks were yummy but the company was better.  It's hard to describe the amount of laughter we shared other than there were definite times throughout the evening that I thought I might need an adult diaper.  TMI?

As the weekend progressed, three other ladies joined our gang.  These women were friends of the birthday girl.  I met two of them before and as it turns out, knew the other one from my brief stint at Vista Del Rio Jr. High in 1987.  (My world continues to shrink).

We all clicked immediately and with the addition of alcohol, gossip magazines, an ocean breeze, sunshine, lounge chairs and a pool, it was easy.  That coupled with the fact that we are all busy mothers, so not having to look out for, spray sunscreen on, tend to or run after any children, was a recipe for instant camaraderie. 

The weekend was long and enjoyable beyond measure and my dear friend Amber was able to relax and focus on herself and her needs.  And as a mother of four, that is a real luxury.  Amber's situation is unique, more so than the rest of us.  I have shared this information before but in case you may have forgotten, Amber's son was injured severely and paralyzed in a freak accident in the ocean at Newport Beach a little over two years ago.

Since then, as you can imagine, Amber and the rest of her family's lives (especially and most importantly her son, Zack), have changed drastically. 

There are so many things I admire about Amber but her devotion to her children and family is one of the things I admire most.  She's open and honest about her feelings and her life and she doesn't sugar coat things.  She says Zack is her inspiration.  But she also makes it known to each one of her other children how unique and special they are.  She is gifted as a mother and a friend, her faith is unwavering and I don't think she has a clue as to how truly amazing and special she is. 

I have shared this with her before, but I just feel like it's not something you can ever say enough. 

On the last night of our trip, we sat around the fire out on the patio of the hotel bar, drinking wine and cocktails, eating pizza for dinner and bantering back and forth while laughing hysterically as we recapped the events of the previous days. 

In true form (and after about four red wine spritzers) I decided that I needed to share the blog I wrote about transformation.  This prompted my friend Jen to "take it to a deeper level" and she posed this question: Which personal characteristic or trait do you think serves you the most, which serves you the least and why?

As each woman shared her answers, the rest of us commented on the responses.  It opened a discussion forum that really focused on reinforcing the positive ways in which we view ourselves and helped us all recognize that our self-described weaknesses were actually areas where significant growth was waiting for us, just lingering on the horizon.

One of the things I took away from that experience was a deeply renewed connection with my old friends as well as with my new ones.  Sharing intimate thoughts and details about yourself is not easy for many, I however, don't have that problem.  Again, sometimes I tend to over-share, see paragraph four above or any of my other blogs in case you haven't figured that out.

As we wrapped up our impromptu group therapy session, we all walked away with a feeling of joy and happiness which followed us through to our spontaneous dance party among the diverse crowd at the Embassy Suites Mandalay Beach Resort.  The energy was electric and tangible and we harnessed it right up to the point when we walked back to our room at midnight and Amber and Michelle commandeered a rouge shopping cart for a quick ride on the hotel grounds.  We finally collapsed into bed after a fun filled day, one that I won't soon forget.

When we woke Sunday morning, there was a definite shift in the energy. We would all be headed home, back to our every day lives.  I could sense the hesitation as we lingered about, taking showers and slowly packing up enough food, water and other stuff to have sustained us for two weeks, let alone four days...Wishful thinking for a longer stay I suppose.

I tried for a late check-out but alas, it was not to be.  So as of 11:00, we had to say good-bye to suite 9-302.  We promised to return someday, perhaps with our families in tow.  But nothing can replace the power of a girls getaway and this one in particular. 

As we parted ways and headed back to our regular lives, we left with a feeling of rejuvenation of spirit and soul, as well as many great memories and new friends.  I think if we all spent more time focusing our energy on being positive and seeing ourselves the way others see us, the possibilities for happiness become endless. 

So on the days you are feeling a little off, maybe sad or insecure, Call up your best friend (and this goes for you guys too) and revisit that question Jen so eloquently suggested: What serves you the most, what serves you the least, and why? 

 

Spend a helluva a lot more time on what serves you the most and harness that energy, savor it and share it.  You don't need a fire or pizza or even wine.  You just need a good friend you can count on, some encouraging words and a different outlook and if it happens on a Friday, that's even better.

I thank Amber again, for bringing us all together and for being a truly inspiring and generous friend.



*For my loyal friends and readers, I will take this opportunity again to remind you that  Amber's son Zack undergoes rigorous physical therapy at Project Walk in Carlsbad, California.  This intense program is not covered by insurance so the Collie family has a fund set up to accept donations to pay for Zack's ongoing needs.  If you would like to make a donation (any and all amounts are welcome and greatly appreciated) visit www.zcollie.blogspot.com and you can read more about Zack, his personal story and how far he's come since his injury.

Thank you all, and Happy Friday!

Camping

A lot of people may think I am a bit of a prima-donna, and they might be right.  I wasn't always this way, I will freely admit that over the course of 40 years, I have evolved into a woman who likes the finer things in life, but that's not to say that I can't appreciate the simpler things.  I *reluctantly* went camping last weekend.  I will also admit right here and now that I have a love/hate relationship with camping and it can turn on a dime, which it often does.

I grew up with a father who taught me how to camp, I mean really camp.  I washed dishes and took baths in rivers and lakes, I slept under the stars in a banana lounge chair on the shore of a cove in Lake Havasu, and I made more than a few trips to an outhouse perched atop a hill overlooking the campsite we called home for a week at a time. Truth is, I loved it (well all except the outhouse) but in my adult life, I have gotten used to being pampered.

Now I am lucky enough to have a sweet little vacation home out at the river.  It has it's issues, what with the mainentence, the occasional mouse and cockroaches the size of golfballs. But really it's like a little slice of heaven on earth.  I am spoiled because besides food, I have everything I need right there.  I have stocked that place up!  We even have cable TV, which last I checked Ridgemont still didn't.

So last weekend, we packed up the trailer we borrowed from my Mom's boyfriend Dave.  He generously allowed us to use it so that saved us quite a bit of dough since we didn't need to rent an RV.  We've used it before and it's a fine little toy-hauler, it does the job and the beds are quite comfy, even with a small child twisting and turning against my back all night long, essentially it's pretty basic but at least there is a toilet for those 3:00 a.m. bathroom breaks I now have nightly.  It's more of a "glamping" situation than pitching a tent and peeing in the bushes outside.

We joined a group of friends who really LOVE camping, I mean they do it in style with HUGE 5th wheels and all the extra goodies which makes this production much more satisfying I suspect.  Full kitchens and fancy bedrooms, the whole kit and caboodle.  Jealous? Yes I suppose I am.

Anyway, back to the camping.  So the prep work that goes with the "relaxing getaway" is not something I love.  In fact, packing up a bunch of crap while fending off a serious case of PMS, well let's just say it's not the perfect combination for a delightful weekend.  I do recognize that my attitude may have played a roll in  my reluctance, but I sucked it up and did the grocery shopping, the laundry, the stuffing of the bedding into a variety of bins, I gathered the toys and the electronics, got the bikes together, made lists of things to bring, etc. etc.  And so off we went to spend time in the great outdoors. 

We arrived in Carlsbad after an hour drive, not too bad considering we were towing.  We found our spot and our friends and began the process of setting up camp, which basically involves unpacking all the crap I had just loaded into the trailer and trying to fit 10 lbs. of shit into a 5 lb. bag...(thank's Mike, borrowed this little gem from you.  I like it.)

When I finally got it all sorted out, it was time for some sangria.  Ah...the refreshing part of the weekend!  We rode our bikes a bit and walked down to the "beach" (and I use this term only in the sense that the ocean met the shore but really it was much more of a rocky terrain than a beach). 

I did manage to whip up some rather tasty tacos in the shoebox kitchen and only got one complaint (my son, but he bitches about everything so I didn't take it seriously).  We put the little kids to bed, enlisted the 15 and 13 year-olds to babysit and joined our friends a few campsites down to sit around the fire and have a drink (or five).   Chris was the smart one who went to bed early, like maybe 11:30.  I, however, felt the need to be the last one to leave the party, probably some time around 2:00.  Yes, I am a fool.  You would think I would know better now but it's like a vortex, I just get sucked in!

So when the sun came up and the little girl woke, there really was not a whole lot of sleep for this lady.  Sleep is a valuable commodity in my life and without it, well let's just say that I might not be the "happiest" gal on the block.  Right about then, I was ready to pack up our junk and head back to the comforts of my home.  Chris was feeling the same way but when I checked on my boy who was sitting in the tent pitched outside, attempting to roll up a sleeping bag but was just sort of picking at the zipper, and saw the look on his face (with tears welled up), I knew we HAD to stay.  Chris and I muddled through the morning, Gav pulled on his wetsuit and grabbed his surfboard and went out surfing with his buddy. 

My dear friend Nicky took her little girl and Piper to a sandy, kid-friendly beach down the way.  Chris and I watched Gav surf and play in the ocean.  No sleep and a little hangover had everything to do with my own poor choice so why should our kids suffer?  Right.  They shouldn't. 

So we sucked it up and spent another night.  Our friends put together an amazing spread for dinner but grumpy old me, well I didn't even want to cook.  My family thought that Pick Up Stix sounded fine so I drove off site to have everyone's favorite camping fare: Chinese fast food.

We hit the sack and woke up early Sunday morning, Father's Day.  It's a rough holiday for both Chris and me, bittersweet since we both lost our Dads.  But Chris is such an amazing father so it's a day to celebrate him.  I'm not making excuses but I think this day coupled with grey skies and looming sadness, well it makes for a recipe resulting in a crabby bad attitude. 

We packed up all the gear, the chairs, surfboards and bikes into the back of the trailer and got the hell out of Dodge before you could start your generator, which incidentally in California State Parks, is not until 10:00 a.m.  Ugh~no coffee.

The good that came from this weekend was that our kids thoroughly enjoyed themselves.  They got filthy dirty, ate junk food, hung out and played with their friends and smiled the whole time.  So even with all this bitching, will I do it again?  Probably.  Will I complain the whole time?  Maybe, depends on the time of the month.

The bottom line is this:  The stuff we do for our kids, for our families, might not always be our favorite, but we do it anyway.  We do it because we get to see the way our kids light up and share their joy and happiness.  We do it because we remember our own childhood (the good and bad) and make choices to make things better, more fun, for our own kids.  Ultimately, we do it to create memories and connections with our family and friends.  

I often tell my son to "suck it up" and make the most of the situation you find yourself in.  I suppose I need to take my own advice.  But, I am only human and I won't apologize for that.  I will, however, apologize for acting like a turd if I offended anyone by being a grumpy crumudgeon, but that's what hormones and a lack of a shower will do to a girl.

In any case, I wish you all the best of luck in your future camping endeavers and if you are anything like me, I recommend sangria and sleep, in that order.

Happy Weekend and Summer!

Tranformation

I just spent a wonderful weekend at our little place on the Colorado River.  We went out there with some friends and were lucky enough to have wonderful sitters for the kids. So for just a minute or two, it felt like we were on Spring Break again, oh the good ole' days.  Would I want to go back there (meaning days without responsibilities like children and a mortgage)?  Not really, but that's what makes the time away well appreciated and the joy of coming home to my kids' smiling faces that much sweeter.

We have been friends with the three people that came with us for almost 20 years, Chris has known them even longer, back to the days of high school. What's so interesting is that one of them is going through an extraordinary transformation and I gotta tell ya, watching the changes this man is making, both inside and out, is truly inspiring.  I think he would agree with the assessment that his personality might be construed as "strong." At times, he can be obnoxious and abrasive, but most other times he can be a trusted confidant and friend.  In any case, as I watch him grow and evolve as a person, I see the light and happiness begin to break through that rough and tough exterior.  It's a bit like watching a Monarch shed his cocoon and spread those magnificent orange and black wings.  I'm looking forward to watching him fly.

Transformation. 

It can happen to anyone at any time.  To sum it up, it can be defined as a "marked change, usually for the better."  Do these changes need to be immediate and massive? I don't think so.  In fact, the process itself might involve a series of small changes, put together to create a chain.  Each link is fused to the next forming a bond that is structurally sound and able to withstand even the most difficult and unexpected circumstances.  This analogy can apply to either physical or emotional changes, but don't they often go hand in hand?  Our bodies do tend to reflect what we are thinking and feeling inside our heads.  Regarding these personal transformations, the "experts" say that if we tackle challenges head on and face our fear of change by making small adjustments, we can better manage ourselves as we navigate through unfamiliar territory without feeling overwhelmed.  

Setting goals is important but making them realistic is essential.  I've always said that adopting the "all or nothing" mentality can backfire.  Committing to changing or starting something; whether it be quitting smoking, exercise, eating healthy, finishing school, planting a garden, learning to swim, riding a bike, smiling more, being a better friend, whatever~I think it's important to start small.  And if you slip up, cut yourself some slack already.  Rome wasn't built in a day, right? 

We are all works in progress.  There isn't anything that holds us back more than our perception of ourselves. Believe me, I know as much as anyone, that the negative mental baggage we continue to schlep around can be exceptionally hard to lose.  But if you start by letting go of that stupid little carry-on first, it can be much easier to unload that faux leather Samsonite you are dragging behind you. You know what I'm talking about, the bag that's so old it doesn't even have those fancy little wheels and the handle that pops up out of the top?  Yeah, that's the one.  That enormous suitcase filled with the mental crap that you don't need.  If it doesn't serve you, let it go. 

And now you are shouting at me, "But that's easier said than done!"

And yes, you are right.  But you do have a choice in the matter.  This is your life.  If you want to keep toting around that old bag full of junk, go right on ahead.  Or would you rather trade it in for a sparkly new number with a shiny handle, a protective cover (maybe with pink flamingos on it) and wheels that even do a 360*?

Life is riddled with tough decisions and challenges.  How we respond to them is our choice.  Resisting change is easy, embracing change is hard, no big surprise there.  And now that I am witnessing my friend transform his whole life -his perspective, his body and his mind- it reminds me to face my own challenges head on and that determination, support and sheer will are key tools to ensure success. That and a little thing called forgiveness.

I think the message is this:  If you want to make changes in your life, if you want to make a transformation of sorts, don't be afraid to do it.  Get a new set of luggage and fill it with stuff you actually need, things like books and journals and support  from your friends and family by sharing your intentions.  Acutally put those tools to good use.  And remember there is no room for negative junk, only the good stuff.  Knowledge is power and not just because the guy on the Saturday morning cartoons sang about it, that really was some sound advice. 

And to my friend Demko, spread those wings man...it's your time to fly.